Social Skills, Dating, and Disability Support with Rachel Greenberg

Mark (: 00:01

Do that again. Hi, how are you?

Rachel Greenberg (: 00:02

Hi.

I'm doing well, how are you?

Mark (: 00:07

I'm good, it's so nice to have you here, Rachel. My pleasure. How's your day starting?

Rachel Greenberg (: 00:09

Well, thank you for having me.

Pretty early.

Mark (: 00:15

Pretty early. I know. Why did

we do this so early? Was this me or was this you or was this us?

Rachel Greenberg (: 00:21

I don't know,

I think it was us. I think it's my problem because I'm coffee-less right now.

Mark (: 00:27

Do you want to get yourself a cup of coffee? Because I can wait a few minutes. You OK? OK. OK, cool. That's nice to be automatically and naturally pumped. I love that. I had forgotten, because it was a little while ago, went back and looked at what you do. And I'm really impressed. so I'd love to start.

Rachel Greenberg (: 00:29

No, I'm good. I'm good. I am pumped.

Mark (: 00:49

the show with you just telling us a little bit about yourself and also then just some background into what you do and what you've created.

Rachel Greenberg (: 00:57

Yeah, so I live in Montgomery County, Maryland. I have been working with people with disabilities since I was 12 years old. It became kind of like a fascination for me. I how different people could be, but so happy people could be with their differences. And it was really nice because it was a nice change from being with my peers who, you know,

my neuro typical peers who would complain about everything and I'd go into the special ed classroom and it was just pure joy.

So I would do summer camps and internships and I was convinced I wanted to be a special ed teacher. And I wish I went back and told myself, you know, explore, see what's out there because after my five-year program I entered the school system and was like, okay, not for me. So I scrambled to find a job and I became a employment consultant helping adults with disabilities find employment.

Mark (: 01:46

⁓ Right.

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 01:56

And I did that for quite some time, six or seven years, but something was missing. I've always been very adamant that people with disabilities deserve to have the best quality social and romantic lives if that's what they want.

So one day I was talking to my partner and I was like, think I'm going to take on a side hustle where I do some coaching for social skills and dating. And something about me is that when I take something on, don't, it's not, I...

I might think in the back of my head that I'm going to take on like one client, but an example is I just started crafting. I'm making, I'm decapaging oysters. So most people would be like, I only need like five oysters to start with. you know, I have about a hundred. So I started getting client after client after client, and I was so overwhelmed, obviously so grateful.

Mark (: 02:45

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 02:54

But so overwhelmed that I called my friend and she said, Rachel, you are not married. You do not have a house and you don't have kids. Quit your job. So the next day I put in my two weeks and as of June 2nd, it's been three years on my own.

Mark (: 03:02

Wow.

Congratulations, that's incredible. Wow, that's ambitious and that's brave and all that stuff. I mean, it takes risk, but you seem to have this passion and you just knew what you wanted to do. ⁓

Rachel Greenberg (: 03:08

Thank you so much.

Yeah,

I did. it's been a long time coming because I've wondered, you know, is this it for me in terms of the type of work, but...

Once I got into this, I realized that there's so many possibilities with it. And I enjoy the clientele, I enjoy the work, I enjoy the challenges, I enjoy the variety. And my main bread and butter is generally social skills and dating. I do other services as well, but that's like the bread and butter of my business.

Mark (: 03:46

Okay, we'll talk about those. It's interesting because I can relate to what you're saying because I was a teacher for 30 years. So I was doing the same thing. I mean, had some, I had some variety within those years of different types of teaching, different types of classes, et cetera. But once I got out and looked out in the world and saw, my gosh, there's so much that can be done. So many possibilities. didn't have to just be that I was a special ed teacher. There was so many things to do within the community. And

Rachel Greenberg (: 03:53

God bless you.

Mark (: 04:14

I think that's what I'm still discovering, but that's where the podcast came from too, because it was like, this is a great, way to be able to share and spread some information and try to do something positive for the community. So it's really wonderful what you're doing. Yeah, it's really cool that you realize that so young too, which is great. know, I, relative to me, let's say that at least.

Rachel Greenberg (: 04:18

Yeah.

It's excellent. Thank you. ⁓

I'm not sure about Young.

Mark (: 04:37

So tell me a little bit about your business. We'll delve into specifics about it. But how did it come to be that you, so did you, this is your own or did you do this with your friend and what was the next step after that?

Rachel Greenberg (: 04:49

So my friend told me, basically, Rachel, this is your chance. I took it on full force. the time, had maybe five clients. And it's built up to ebbing and flowing between seven to 18 clients at a time.

Mark (: 04:58

independently.

Wow.

Rachel Greenberg (: 05:14

And some are working on social skills, some are working on dating and relationship skills, sometimes I have classes and groups. And then while it's not advertised on my website, I do also help with employment. And I also do teen mentoring. Which kind of ties along with the social skills in the sense of it's...

Mark (: 05:30

okay, nice.

Rachel Greenberg (: 05:36

Usually it's actually neurotypical teens that I work with and it's how do you want to show up? How do you deal with bullying? What's the golden rule of you know treating others the way you want to be treated? What are your goals for your future? What are your action items to achieve said goals? So I would say that the employment comes once in a while because I'm able to say you know I did this for X amount of years and I can help out your help you out or help your adult child out with employment, but

Mark (: 05:48

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 06:06

And in general, what I like to focus on is the social skills and the dating skills for the neurodiverse population.

Mark (: 06:12

That's really great. I'd love to hear more about that because I think it's an area that is well underserved and it's interesting I ran into a gentleman last night who is autistic and he was telling me that he's an assistant in a school he was saying but I I play music and I was doing a gig last night and he was there and I give out wristbands that say I can I will to people if they want them and he was leaving and I called out to him and I and I gave him one and he walked all the way around this this

Rachel Greenberg (: 06:34

That's awesome.

Mark (: 06:39

Barrier and came up to me and he said thank you because people just don't understand and they don't know how to be Nice or accept people with autism and it's just really really challenging and it's so it's so disappointing he was saying and so we had a really nice conversation about you know all he was doing and and that kind of stuff and He was just so grateful and it was so sad to me that he had to be that grateful, you know ⁓

Rachel Greenberg (: 07:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Mark (: 07:06

So I'm sure you must come across that in multitudes in your business.

Rachel Greenberg (: 07:10

all

the time, like the little, like things that, you know, should be the status quo being so exciting. And, you know.

Mark (: 07:19

Right.

It's surprising,

right? ⁓

Rachel Greenberg (: 07:23

Yeah, it's

whether it be for the individual or the parent really to know that and I really try to focus on saying, you know, I'm not a fairy godmother and I'm not like a magic genie, but what I do works and it really does help open the person up and that's because I'm not a therapist. So I share my own life with my clients so they feel more comfortable talking to me. I talk about my life experiences with bullying and

Mark (: 07:27

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 07:51

how I dealt with that. I talk about my life experiences with dating, not in depth, but, you know, talking about how it took X amount of time for me to find my partner when they're like, I haven't found anyone. It's been like six months. I'm like, listen, I, took, you know, seven years for me to find my partner. It takes time. So being able to relate with them allows them to open up and actually, you know, glean information that we go over in the sessions.

Mark (: 08:18

It sounds like to me that's the magic sauce because I think anytime that people can relate to one another, they're going to build that trust with each other, right? And so you're going to be able to get the best of them because they know that you're giving them the best of you and you're being honest. And yeah, and, and they probably don't get that a lot or that kind of respect, right? Do you find that that's common that they're just kind of coming into you?

Rachel Greenberg (: 08:25

Yes.

Absolutely.

I

can see that a lot of them would probably come into it thinking that it's just going to be them talking and I'm like, nope. While you're in charge of the boss, I will share with you because it's only fair. It's only fair that I'm going to share with you if you're going to share with me. Using my life experiences helps them verify that what I'm talking about is valid.

Mark (: 09:03

Right. It's based on experience. Yeah. Right.

Rachel Greenberg (: 09:06

For

for someone who might display socially inappropriate behaviors and wonder why they aren't having people flock over to them to be friends. And I'll say, listen, you know, when I was in middle school, I did everything possible to get people's attention. And 90 % of what I did was for inappropriate attention. And at the time I would wonder why is it that people don't want to spend time with me? And then I recognized, oh, it's probably because

because you're not looking for the right kind of attention. So, and then we try to identify what they do that might be making people a little bit weary of spending time with them and what we can do instead to get positive attention and to have people flock over to you.

Mark (: 09:41

Mm-hmm.

That's really fascinating. Can you give some examples of how you go about doing that? Or maybe like some situations without naming names that you've been able to make that difference. Yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 10:04

Yeah. Yeah. So, I

had, as a client and I have a client who thinks it's funny to make noises. like, not to mock at all, just to give an example, like he'll go like, And it's not, it's not a tick. It's not a stim It's, it's just him being funny. Yeah. Yeah. And, and a lot of the time I'll say, do you think that's what

Mark (: 10:20

Right, right.

It's intentional.

Rachel Greenberg (: 10:29

teenagers do and he's like and he'll be like no and I'll be like do you think that's what people want to be around? be like no. So and I'll tell him like as a teenager I remember self being in Hebrew school singing on the table.

Mark (: 10:32

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 10:41

for the class and the class was laughing so I thought they were laughing with me but they were just laughing at me and they didn't want anything to do with me. ⁓ So being able to pass on that wisdom that I unfortunately had to learn at a really young age, a really vulnerable age to them so they can start modifying their behaviors to attract friendships.

Mark (: 10:46

Right. Right.

And how do you find the process with them? Obviously, it's independent and different for every individual. So how do you gauge your success? have you had kind of an average time period where you feel like people start to come around?

Rachel Greenberg (: 11:17

The average time period varies. Some people will be like for a month and I've had people for two and a half years. And then engaging success is basically what I see in the session. You know, I had a client once who I would ask, in the beginning I would ask her a question and she would look at me like I was an alien. Like, what do I do now? And I remember prompting her and her mom coming to me at the end of the session and was like, I don't know if this is gonna work. You can't just prompt her that much.

she's asking me questions and she's diving in deep for socialization. So being able to see the difference from the beginning shyness or apprehensiveness to diving in deep and asking questions and starting conversations and being able to have a full-fledged conversation is how I'm able to see that my clients are being successful.

Mark (: 12:07

You don't ever like, it's not like you're bringing people together. You're actually just working with the individual to give them the strategies and the abilities to be able go out and do it on their own to date and things like. Where do you arrange your time?

Rachel Greenberg (: 12:16

Well, I've had groups, I've had

online groups.

And then I also have what's called the wing woman service. So if someone's within 15, 20 minutes away from me, I will go, I will help pick out an activity of their choosing on like meetup.com, whether it's like a trivia night or a board game night or a bar night. And I will go with them as their friend and introduce myself as their friend and help facilitate social interaction with the people in the activity.

Mark (: 12:21

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 12:49

And so let's say we're sitting there and we're sitting at the bar and my client isn't really talking to anyone. might signal them in some way, whether it's verbally or just really say like, why don't you ask that? Why don't you introduce yourself to that person? Why don't you ask some questions? And then, you know, in the middle of it, when we're alone, be like, are you connecting with anyone? Is there anyone that you might want to get your, your like, get a number from? You never know if you're going to see this person or not again. And that's been pretty successful too.

getting them out and about. My biggest thing, and I think as you said, you were a teacher for 35 years, what? Oh, 30, 30 years. Is that a lot of the time with these folks outings are...

Mark (: 13:26

30. 30.

Rachel Greenberg (: 13:35

typically the same things over and over again, like let's go to the movies and let's walk around the lake and let's go to the community center. And I try to find the most fun, age-appropriate, adventurous activities for my clients to experience because, I have one client that I do this with and I'll be like, what did you do today? He'll be like, I went on a walk and I...

And I know that he can do so much more. So I've taken him to the casino. I've taken him to trivia nights. I've taken him to bar nights, karaoke nights. If his family allowed, I would go skydiving with him, but apparently it's not safe for him. But I'm all about pushing limits, you know, and allowing people to live their lives the way they want to with whomever they want to.

Mark (: 14:20

Hahaha

love that because that attitude, excuse me, that approach and that confidence that and you show that you're open to this out-of-the-box thinking and also open to adventure is very can be very influential right and very positive I mean not everybody's got that in them that you've got what you've got.

Rachel Greenberg (: 14:49

It's important. It's important for people to get out there and to try new things. And that's what I'm doing every day with my clients who are like, I don't want to talk to people. It's like, well, let's break this down. Why don't you want to talk to people? Why is it important to talk to people? How will it help your future if you talk to new people? So I was talking to a client the other day. was like, yeah, I'm pretty happy with the amount of friends I have. I'm like, but what about meeting new people? He's like, yeah, maybe. And I was like, well, listen, you're getting to the age where you're going to

you're going to college, you're going to go into employment, you're going to need to learn to talk to many different types of personalities. So being able to basically give an explanation that is relatable for them, be like, even though it might not be interesting for me to talk to new people, it might be in my best interest to do so.

Mark (: 15:35

Right, right. Kind of getting that side of it. The understanding, the comprehension. It's a means to an ends even if it's uncomfortable for me. Yeah. So is that a regular part of your process? Yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 15:39

Yeah.

Absolutely.

yeah.

Absolutely

and identifying obstacles that are within I work a lot with confidence because confidence is key when meeting people if you're not confident in yourself to meet people you're not going to get yourself out there to meet people. So you know working on mantras are we going to say them out loud are we going to journal them are we going to put a note by the mirror. What are our strengths what things do we want to work on what are our goals so they can you know have

the most successful social life and maybe even romantic life that they could have that in trying to remove those roadblocks that are mostly in their head. Because we all know that we can call ourselves every name in the book that is not nice.

Mark (: 16:25

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 16:40

Because we made, let's say we made a mistake, right? So I'm stupid, I'm dumb, I shouldn't have done that. What a mistake. I remember yesterday I posted on Facebook Marketplace a pair of jeans and someone sent me like a nasty gram and I actually posted the nasty gram with the posting for the jeans. Like a nasty message.

Mark (: 17:00

Anastogram? Can you explain? I don't know what an anastogram is.

That's what I figured, okay, just making sure. It's terrible.

Rachel Greenberg (: 17:06

Yeah. ⁓

Basically, was someone

who was basically scamming me to help my business. And when I asked to verify his credentials, he said I wasn't ready for his work. So I accidentally posted that with the genes. And I started getting messages from people saying, Rachel, you need to take this down. And I immediately was like, that was so dumb of you, Rachel. How could you miss this? How could you do this? But the fact of the matter

is if a friend of mine came to me came to me and said that that happened I would say hey it was a mistake don't call yourself stupid so I think the people I work with need to hear that they're worthy that they're valuable that they that there are people out there that want to be friends with them that they have something to contribute that there is a man or a woman or or you know out there that would want to spend time with them so they're hearing all of these valid

Mark (: 17:42

Mm-hmm. Of course.

Rachel Greenberg (: 18:05

statements from someone other than their parents because even though your mom carried you for nine months and gave birth to you it's like it's just my mom but if it's someone else it's actually and I and I tell them I say it and it's with all honesty and nothing I say is because I'm getting paid to say nice things it's it's everything I say is unique to the person and I tell them that like if I did not mean what I'm saying to you I would not say it to you at all because how would that help you

Mark (: 18:11

Absolutely.

Rachel Greenberg (: 18:32

And it helps boost their confidence, which helps them then put themselves out there more to be open to meeting new people and cultivating new friendships and relationships.

Mark (: 18:32

Absolutely.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's just common to human nature. typically, I shouldn't say everyone, but generally people want to be seen, right? They want to be, they want to know that people know they exist. And for the neurodivergent community, that's a whole big mixed bag. And I mean, you could really generalize what you do to the general population really, you know, absolutely.

Rachel Greenberg (: 18:49

Yeah.

absolutely. I could have used

it. I could have used a Teen and Teen Mentor. I could have used a social skills coach. So it really, it's just for people who, you know, who are struggling in some way and could use someone who's almost like a big sister to guide them to success. And nothing feels better than when I see improvement. It's, it...

Mark (: 19:16

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Rachel Greenberg (: 19:24

you know, this work is not work for me. It's not something I turn on in the morning and off at night. It's my life. My fiance will come home and obviously I won't use names or examples, but I be like, you won't believe what happened today. And, you know, God bless him for, for putting up with the fact that that is my main point of conversation. But that's how it's been for the past two decades is that being in this world with these people who deserve

Mark (: 19:33

Mm-hmm.

you

Yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 19:54

to be accepted and loved and have relationships and community is my passion.

Mark (: 20:02

Well, I'm not going to speak for your fiance, but I would imagine that's one of the things he loves about you. he probably, probably not. I mean, you you love the whole person. Yes, we're all going to irritate each other at times, but I'm sure that your passion, I mean, when someone has a passion to, you not pushing the passion, I need to just sharing it. And I think that's really important. I think the idea of sharing.

Rachel Greenberg (: 20:07

I'd hope so. I'd hope so.

Yeah.

Mark (: 20:23

who we are with one another is critical in all relationships. And if we're not open to it, then we don't have a lot of chance. mean, you have to have that openness. I wonder how you get that across to people who have social challenges that are uncomfortable. How do you get across to them that...

first off that communication is probably the most important thing in a relationship and if people are kind of leery or uncomfortable or lack confidence in being able to communicate how do you maybe approach that do you do you have any strategies for that?

Rachel Greenberg (: 20:59

Being very realistic. you know, putting themselves in other people's shoes. What would you say about your friends? they're nice, they're kind, they're fun, they're funny. What would they say about you? That I'm this, I'm that, I'm this, I'm that. Yeah, that's what you bring to the table. You have a lot to bring to the table. And essentially by not going up to people and introducing yourself or...

or cultivating friendships and relationships, you're making people miss out on you. And you have so much to bring into other people's lives that it's almost like making other people miss out. So they don't feel like it's just them missing out, it's other people missing out. So it's like, I could be helping other people too by being out in other people's lives. Because it's true. impact everyone in relationship, whether it's romantic or...

Mark (: 21:43

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 21:47

or platonic, we impact each other. We do for each other. being able to tell them that they have the potential to do that is pretty, you know, big for them. Like, wow, I actually have power when, you know, they've been treated as powerless for so long.

Mark (: 22:05

Right. mean, my gosh, their whole lives, right? This is the first time they're hearing that message. It's got to be really kind of just, just confusing at the beginning, you know? And so I would, you know, obviously everybody's neurodivergence is different. Everybody's timetables are different. So the fact that you will stick with someone for years is, got to be comforting to them too, because they know you're there and that's got to be really helpful for them.

Rachel Greenberg (: 22:15

Yeah, I can imagine. Yes. Yeah.

And I'm extremely honest with them and with the parents. I am not someone who's going to say like, need to buy 10 packages of 10 sessions in order for your child to succeed. It's more like, I'm here. If you feel like they have reached the point of like getting what they needed, I'm sad to see you go, but I'm happy that you've gotten that.

But at the same time, I will be honest to say like, you know, things don't happen overnight and it will take repetition for your child in order to, yeah, to gain these skills.

Mark (: 23:02

It's commitment. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's the kind of thing where your goal is to not see that person again, ultimately, right? You want them to see it and be on their own.

Rachel Greenberg (: 23:11

Exactly. And for them to thrive

in the community and with friends and maybe have a relationship one day, like that, you know, just to have a community that they are comfortable in.

Mark (: 23:17

Yeah.

Yeah. Have you had success stories?

I'm sure you have, but maybe you could tell one success story where maybe some couple, someone got together and became a couple and did anybody ever get married or anything like that?

Rachel Greenberg (: 23:35

I haven't had that yet. ⁓ have had people who, I think one, you know, it doesn't sound like a success story, but it shows the person's confidence really rose, was when he came to me, he said, I'm looking for casual. And I said, okay, you know, if that's what you want. But as I got to know him better, he felt like he wasn't in the right place in his life to be in a relationship. And

Mark (: 23:37

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 24:01

I told him, said, listen, we all have our obstacles in life, but that doesn't mean that we can't hold a healthy relationship with someone. So now he's actually looking for like a serious relationship. yeah.

Mark (: 24:14

So through your process

he was able to find out his own truth. ⁓

Rachel Greenberg (: 24:17

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Mark (: 24:19

Yeah, and I want to qualify. not saying that marriage is the, know, how we measure success. I'm not saying that. I was just curious. So do you, you say when you go out, are you on your own? Do you have any people that work? Do you have a team at all or is it just you? It's just you. Because I would think that what you do is, I mean, it's very time consuming to be going and escorting people out on their social experiences.

Rachel Greenberg (: 24:26

of course.

It's just me.

Mark (: 24:45

I think it's an amazing idea. Would that ever be something you would maybe aim for to have a few more people available to be able to go to kind of do that too and spread the resources around? Yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 24:58

Yeah, I would love to do that someday. Yeah, because especially

since the going out aspect is at night or on the weekends, you know, it would be nice to be able to delegate the tasks so I can have that time to myself.

Mark (: 25:13

Sure,

sure. And also to be able to spread the service around too, you know, because then more people could benefit from it. Because I think it's a really, yeah, you you ultimately want somebody to be able to go out on their own confidently to do something, but you know, it takes baby steps, you know, and that kind of support is huge, yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 25:28

Very much so.

Mark (: 25:31

I think that's really, really cool of you to do that. I love the idea. So what would be like the first thing someone would expect to find when they come to meet you the first time? What would be the, and then we're just focusing on the dating and the social part. I want to talk about the employment a little bit too, but as far as this component goes, let's talk about what would be expected with someone, when somebody showed up to your office and it's an office, they come to you or you do it remotely. It's remote. Okay. Okay.

Rachel Greenberg (: 25:33

Thank you.

No, it's remote, but I can go to other people's homes.

What they would see is someone who is highly dedicated and passionate about what they do. I might talk a little too much because I'm really excited and will give them the time and parents need this and don't get it.

enough. I will give them as long as they need to explain what they feel they need to explain to me about their child or the person themselves if they're seeking the service. So I don't care if it's 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes an hour. I will stay on the phone with them and walk them through whatever they're talking about until it's time for me to propose my services.

So patience, understanding, and very much of an understanding that I've been in this community for so long that I really can relate to a lot of these families. That these are not new stories for me. New people, but not new stories.

Mark (: 26:48

Mm-hmm.

Right, right,

right. And what would be like, what would you, what's your first step in your process of treating a client?

Rachel Greenberg (: 26:59

I first do a welcome session where we do getting to know you games and come up with goals and action items for what we're going to do together.

Mark (: 27:08

Cool. Do you find that, I mean, do you have a?

I don't even know, it's not even worth asking the question. The process, I'm just curious about your process. I'm curious about what happens from that point on, but it's gonna be varied with everybody, so it's really, yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 27:21

Yeah, it really is. really is. Like

sometimes I'll do, you know, five, sessions on the same thing, but using different games and different lessons so they don't get bored of it because a lot of our folks need that repetition.

So, you know, I have something called the conversation skeleton that I came up with and it's a six step process to meeting new people. So we'll play hangman with different small talk topics and we'll practice going back and forth asking each other questions. We'll have the question game where we'll count how many questions we ask each other. So it all ties into having a successful.

lengthy, not like obviously too long, but long enough conversation that they can get to know someone by understanding. So for example, the small talk topic is movies, do you like to watch movies? What's your favorite genre of movies? Do you prefer to watch movies in theaters or at home? Who do you watch movies with? Who's your favorite movie actor or actress? What's the last movie you saw? What movie do you want to see in the future?

to get them to learn to stay on topic and to extend conversation without any lags.

Mark (: 28:36

That's what I was looking for. was curious. Yes, that's exactly it. That's awesome. as challenges go, obviously everybody's individual, but what are some of the biggest challenges that come or a big challenge that comes with your job?

Rachel Greenberg (: 28:38

Yeah.

finding people, believe it or not, even though this is a...

service that so many people could benefit from. I'm currently in the phase of trying to figure out advertising and marketing so I can get my name out. That would be probably the only thing that's difficult. It's not difficult working with anyone. It's not difficult corresponding with parents. It's not difficult to get an idea of where they are. It's more so getting my name out so people can see,

Mark (: 29:06

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 29:21

my kid or I can really relate to what this woman is saying and could use her services.

Mark (: 29:28

Yeah, think that, you know, I certainly can relate because I think, you know, in today's social media world, there's so many people that we can just put ourselves out there and say, this is a service we provide. you know, as a parent trainer and stuff like that, there's a lot of those, you know, so I'm competing with a lot of people and it is challenging to find people. But for someone like you, that's a real niche job and.

Rachel Greenberg (: 29:37

Yes.

Mark (: 29:49

business that you have that I would think more people would want to take advantage of because I would think there's not many people doing what you do.

Rachel Greenberg (: 29:57

So yeah, exactly. So what I'm doing right now is definitely trying to figure out, you know, Facebook ads versus YouTube ads, YouTube ads versus Instagram ads. Do I get a business coach to help find leads? Because I'm not worried about the quality of my services. It's more so getting it out there so people know who I am.

Mark (: 30:12

Right.

So let's use that as a jumping off point towards the employment. Was the employment something that you, was the thing that started it all or was it the social dating that started this and the employment came in? How did the employment part work in? And maybe you can talk about the employment process a little bit.

Rachel Greenberg (: 30:24

Yes.

Yeah, the employment,

the only reason I got into the employment was because the teaching didn't work out. So, you know, I, exactly. I did customized employment and regular supported employment. So I, my favorite was the customized employment because a lot of our folks, you know, applying to a job.

Mark (: 30:43

So that was the first thing after the teaching. OK.

Rachel Greenberg (: 30:57

and having an interview is not conducive to success. So I would go into businesses and I would essentially present the person I work with and say,

I worked with a gentleman, he worked at a restaurant. And instead of having a job title, he would come in, he would vacuum, he'd clean the windows, he would fill the pepper and salt shakers, he would, he even became co-host where when customers came in, he would welcome them. The host would, the other co-host would put the information in the system and he would bring them to their tables. Same thing with another person working

at another restaurant right now and he still has the job because I run into the family around the area where he works at a diner and he pours the syrups and he pours the whipped cream into the cups. So maximizing their strengths to form a job so other people in the company don't have to do those jobs that they might find boring or unnecessary.

Mark (: 31:47

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Right. And these are jobs that you found through your company. Okay. So can you talk a little bit about that end of it? Because how do you split your services? I mean, your time and your services, it's just a matter of clientele and their needs? Or do you focus, you say you focus on the dating and the social, but you still have the employment component.

Rachel Greenberg (: 32:02

Yep.

Yeah, yeah, so what are you?

Yeah,

so what usually happens is I'll have a call with someone and they'll be like, my daughter, Michaela, she's 24, she has a hard time making friends, has a hard time with conversation, and I might bring up, does she have a job? No, she's been looking for one for a really long time.

And I'd say, while it's not advertised on my website, I do employment consulting. And that is something I can do with her. So being able to put it on as an add-on to the services and using the social skills that we're learning to transfer into the employment environment.

Mark (: 32:52

Mm-hmm. So what... Go ahead, I'm sorry.

Okay, so you kind of double it up, you combine. Yeah, that makes sense. What do you think today, like, what are some of the biggest challenges that adults with disabilities have in finding jobs? Because I know it's really challenging for lot of people. I know people personally who are always asking me to help them find a job. What do you think are the reasons for that?

Rachel Greenberg (: 33:04

Yep.

I don't think it's them as much as willfulness of companies to take a chance on them and to adjust or create jobs for them because people...

Like, you know, since the beginning of time, jobs were jobs, know, lawyers, janitors, bookkeepers, whatever it is. And I, and you know, here I am coming in saying, you know, I have someone who can't use the cash register, but he can do this, this, this, this, and this. And so many people are like bamboozled by the fact that I'm asking them to create.

Mark (: 33:52

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 33:57

physician for someone when in reality it actually helps them out because at the end of the day they don't have to worry about those menial tasks.

Mark (: 34:05

Mm-hmm. Right. And do you find that you're able to break through with these owners, these business owners? Yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 34:11

I would say half and half, maybe a little

less than half and half. I've found jobs in doctor's offices, retail, restaurants, warehouses, doggie daycares. It depends on...

the pitch, how much they are willing to learn about people with disabilities, and particularly learn about the person with a disability. Instead of saying they just have a disability, I once went to a restaurant to do a pitch years ago, and I'll never forget this, and he said something like, last time I hired someone with a disability, they sprayed all the steaks with Lysol. And I was like, way to, you know, to label someone, right?

Mark (: 34:47

Hmm.

Yeah, right.

Rachel Greenberg (: 34:52

So we're looking for the people that are like, you know what? Exactly. Exactly. Like all Jewish people, all Asian people, like, you know, all people with disabilities, we want to get away from that. want them to look at this person and see, wow, they're going to put a smile on the customer's face, which will make them come more often. Wow, they're really good at these skills that we could really use, could use some help with. And

Mark (: 34:53

and generalizing to an entire population of one experience. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Rachel Greenberg (: 35:20

to form it into a job.

Mark (: 35:23

Do you find that you actually sometimes work with the employers to help them to understand? you have to try to train them? Because I think naturally a lot of people are hesitant or whatever their reasons are for not wanting to give someone with a disability a chance. Do you find that you actually educate some of these people? Is that something that you would think to do?

Rachel Greenberg (: 35:44

Yes,

definitely without them really realizing that that's what I'm doing. Just by telling my stories, being like, so I have someone who works in this place and before they would have to stay after hours to complete these tasks, but now they're able to get them done and the higher-ups don't have to do them. So educating them without them feeling like I'm giving them like preaching, if that makes any sense.

Mark (: 35:49

Hehehe.

Sure, no it does.

It just occurs to me that something and, you know, not telling you what to do, but it's just something that seems like a possible outgrowth of this is to have times where you gather local businesses together to be able to educate them. And maybe, you know, that starts to spread some more understanding and open up doors for people. Maybe that's another avenue to pursue because we're talking about the people who are hiring with a lack of knowledge. If we give them the knowledge that maybe

you know, not just you, but a lot of us who want this end to happen, these people to be employed, just, I don't know, just throwing it out there. Because I think you'd be great at it. You have, you know, you just, like you said, you attach yourself to an idea and a thought and a goal and you go for it. And so to me, I... What's that?

Rachel Greenberg (: 36:47

That's a great idea.

I do not let go of it.

I said I do not let go of it.

Mark (: 37:03

Yeah,

no, think you'd be very persuasive and I think you'd also, you you bring the humanity to it. And I think that's where we're lacking so much in our world. You know, the idea that we're just people. And so we all have differences. And I talk about that a lot, but it is the truth. And it is also something that is, you know, running up against a wall a lot of times with that idea, because people just, they don't have the time, they don't have the interest and they just, you know, it's a fast moving world. And so for people to slow down and

and actually consider the human being, I think, takes a concerted effort. But I think if we're giving people the skills and the knowledge, then they don't have to do as much work. can really, yeah. So I think that's what you do with your clients. You're giving them the strategies, and so it becomes more of a natural thing for them. You wanna create something that's more second nature as opposed to something that's completely foreign, right?

Rachel Greenberg (: 37:44

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely.

Mark (: 38:00

Yeah, well, sounds like you do a great job with it. So when people, what is the experience like, do you do that, let me start again, with the employment end, do you do similarly to the dating where sometimes you'll go to sites and things like that with clients to help them maybe in interviews or do you practice interview processes and?

Rachel Greenberg (: 38:03

Thank you.

Yeah, I was just

at an interview with someone the other day and when she was lacking or struggling a little bit, I would kind of pop in with a positive fact. So she is really good with this. She did this before and I wouldn't talk unless there was a lag or, you know, some uncomfortable silence. With the dating that kind of goes under the wingwoman services to be able to sit with the person and kind of look around like, is there anyone

Mark (: 38:40

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 38:54

you want to talk to. But with the dating, know, before even starting with dating itself, I do the dating education of

What is dating versus what is a relationship? I actually had a webinar for parents last night on how to facilitate dating and relationships with their adult children. So first to explain dating is when you meet a bunch of different people and you get to know them and it is okay to go out with more than one person. Relationship equals exclusivity. That means you are with that person and only that person unless you want to break up. And then going over dating safety.

how to ask someone out, dating etiquette, what to do after a date if you're interested, what to do after a date if you're not interested, how to handle rejection, coming up with goals for dating and relationships, like where do you want this to lead to? Do you want to lead this to just, you know, to be casual and a companionship or do you want this to lead to marriage? And then helping them figure out where to meet people, how to meet people, and using the social skills that I do with

Mark (: 39:54

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 40:02

all of my social skills clients with them as well because dating requires extensive social skills.

Mark (: 40:09

Mm-hmm, absolutely. Do you do similar things with employment? Excuse me. As far as advising parents on how to go about the process of trying to get their child employed, how do you start the journey with them?

Rachel Greenberg (: 40:24

I will sometimes suggest types of resumes to write up, like a visual resume which involves their picture and descriptions of them. Give them places that I've heard are hiring or places that I've heard of that have made customized employment before. Or just refer them to me and I can do the work for them.

Mark (: 40:43

Do you corporate AI to help yourself out with some of these resumes and things like that?

Rachel Greenberg (: 40:47

not the resumes, sometimes the cover letters.

Mark (: 40:49

Okay, yeah, it's really helpful, isn't it?

Rachel Greenberg (: 40:52

It is. It's crazy.

Mark (: 40:54

Yeah, it is crazy. mean, my gosh. Give me this, like that. It's nuts. But I mean, it does help expedite the process a little bit. ⁓ Yeah. Are they ready? So.

Rachel Greenberg (: 41:02

does.

Mark (: 41:05

As far as like how you get someone who is lacking confidence, how do you approach that? When someone just doesn't have that confidence and they haven't had the experience of awkwardness of meeting somebody else, what's kind of like a key for you to get in there a little bit and start?

Rachel Greenberg (: 41:24

to be the leader in going over my insecurities and my strengths. So, okay, so let's go over this. So we're gonna talk about what we like about ourselves or what we don't really like about ourselves. I'll start. I don't like that I...

fill in the blank, fill in the blank, fill in the blank, fill in the blank. I like that I fill in the blank, fill in the blank, fill in the blank, fill in the blank. What are some things you don't like? How can we improve those things? If we improve those things, will this improve your confidence? Okay, and then what do you like about yourself and how does that affect your confidence? And how does your overall confidence from zero to 10 look like? How could we get it closer to a 10 and working from there?

Mark (: 42:09

And that seems to work for a lot of these clients. seem they understand what you're asking them. ⁓

Rachel Greenberg (: 42:14

Yep. And obviously everyone

is a different level, so I have to use different approaches and different verbiage, but for the most part, they're able to take a handle on it.

Mark (: 42:25

Mm-hmm, that's where I would think maybe the role play and the games and those things Can you talk about that a little bit the role play?

Rachel Greenberg (: 42:29

yeah, so much role play, so many games.

Yeah,

so I will basically ask them to pick a place that we are meeting. So restaurant, school cafeteria, party.

And I use what's called the conversation skeleton meeting a new person. The first step is introduction. So, hi, my name is Rachel. What's your name? And then they'd say, you know, hi, my name is Bob. It's nice to meet you. And I say, it's nice to meet you. The introduction check. Then there's something called the specific question, which is a question related to where you are or what you're doing. So if you're at a restaurant, have you been here before? What's your favorite thing to order here? If you're at a party, how do you know the host? Are you having a good time?

question check.

Then asking what do you like to do for fun? And I suggest giving two to three things. So I always say, if someone were to tell me they like to listen to music, they like to travel and they'd like to read, I would then try to ask one question about each thing. So what do you, what is your favorite book? Where do you like to travel? What music do you like to listen to? Check. Then we go into small talk topics, which are movies, music, TV shows, books, games, family.

week, weekend, seasons, weather, and go and converse about with

the easiest topics first. So the first ones that would be easiest would probably be the ones that are left off during the small talk topics. So if you ended with talking about your pets, you can then continue with the pets. If you ended up talking about movies, you end with movies. And I put things into categories, meaning the entertainment category would be movies, movies, music, television shows, games, video games, because they're easier to say like, oh, speaking of games, do you like to play?

video games and then I ask my client do you want to continue this conversation or do want to end this and if they say they want to end this we come up with the fifth step reason for leaving so hey you know I really have to get some homework done but it was really good talking to you I'll talk to you later bye

Mark (: 44:36

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 44:39

And then that number six is just the goodbye. And sometimes I say, you know, sometimes you never know if you're going to run into someone again or not. So it's always worth it to ask for the person's Instagram or phone number to get together sometime, because the worst thing is not getting a no from someone. The worst thing is not trying and wondering if they would have said yes.

Mark (: 45:01

Right, absolutely. You walk away with that regret, Wishing you had done it. Noah, that's so cool to focus on the goodbye. wouldn't have thought about that, you know, the importance of how to say goodbye and how to end something. know, the conversation's really, really fascinating. Like, all the details are being taken care of.

Rachel Greenberg (: 45:04

Exactly.

Yeah.

Mark (: 45:19

What I wanted before we go, I want to make sure that I talk about bullying a little bit because that's something that I would think would be high on the radar. ⁓ Yeah. So maybe can you talk a little bit about that, how you approach it, how common it is that you have clients that need the help with this, et cetera?

Rachel Greenberg (: 45:29

Yeah, huge.

Yeah, a lot of my teen and tweens experience bullying and I go through it with them to say, okay, so what do think the purpose of bullying is? And we come to the conclusion that either they just aren't being nice.

or they're insecure or something is happening behind closed doors that we don't know about that is leading them to behave this way. And then I try to see if they can come up with a reason why, excuse me, they continually get bullied. And it's not their fault. And what the conclusion that we usually come up to is that we react to the bullying.

So if someone's going to bully us and we're going to go, Hey, that's not nice. Or even say something back. That's going to hit like the, like the, the winner spot for the bully, cause they want the reaction. So they'll continue bullying. So I encourage my clients to simply just ignore and walk away. And then they're not hitting that, that winner spot for the bully and the bully will kind of be like, so what do I do now? This isn't fun anymore. and I always, yeah. And I always say,

Mark (: 46:30

Sure.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like disarming them.

Rachel Greenberg (: 46:46

know no matter what no matter how someone treats you go by the golden rule treat others the way you want to be treated you don't have to be super kind and warm and sweet but still be respectful because at the end of the night when you put your head on the pillow you want to know that you are a good person that you respect others even if they don't respect you

Mark (: 47:03

Yeah.

Yeah, you didn't bring any harm to anybody that day. Yeah. What did, how do you deal with when they walk away? So it's great that they walk away because I think that's smart. You don't want to feed the beast, right? And so they walk away, but now they've got their feelings hurt or there might be some collateral damage to that. Do you address that part?

Rachel Greenberg (: 47:09

Exactly.

Yes, I do. I have a lot of different things I go over, but the most important one is getting them to understand that the things they're being bullied about have nothing to do with them and everything to do with the other person. So I'll say, okay, so what did they say to you? And I'll say, is this true? And they'll be like, no. And I'll say, no, it's not because they're just trying to get your reaction.

Mark (: 47:38

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Greenberg (: 47:48

This is all their problem, not yours. You just have to react to it appropriately, be yourself, and stick to your values, and let them basically slide off of you.

Mark (: 48:00

Yeah, because I think for anyone, it's really just about knowing ourselves, right? So when we know ourselves, then, you know, people can't get to you because like, well, I know the truth about who I am and what I believe about myself. So it doesn't matter what you're saying, right? It's all just dust in the air.

Rachel Greenberg (: 48:11

exactly.

And I think they really know that in the

back of their heads, but they need the validation to hear it from someone else.

Mark (: 48:21

Mm-hmm.

Well, absolutely. And also there's a lot of insecurities and we're all...

varying degrees of insecurity so you know and i think as you know as i said at the beginning we want to be we want to be seen and so for being seen for these negative reasons or at least that's what we start to think that we're being seen for you know if we're not talking about it then we're it's building up inside of us and then you know who knows what can happen from there and it can really just set people back tremendously and pigeonhole them and

talk about having no social skills, right? Not wanting to even try. Have you faced that where it's been so challenging to break somebody out of that shell that can you talk about maybe one thing that you might have done or would do if you had that situation? What would be your go-to?

Rachel Greenberg (: 48:55

Yeah.

Give them time, not force them into it. Get to know them so they trust me so when I give a suggestion, they listen to it. Because, you know, if it's someone that they don't know who's, you know, not barking orders, but telling them what to do, they're going to think, who is this person telling me what to do? But if I get to know them and they think of me as a trusted adult, when I start to address these issues, they're more likely to open up.

Mark (: 49:41

I think that is like the perfect answer and I think that's the perfect answer for all adults when it comes to kids is time. You know, we need to recognize who they are, number one, as human beings, as individuals, independent people that we don't control, right? ⁓ But then to give them that space to be able to process and integrate and to grow. And I think you knowing that and you serving that

Rachel Greenberg (: 49:56

Yeah.

Mark (: 50:08

that idea and giving that message to families is a huge gift because I think that everybody too, as I said earlier too, everything's fast moving, everybody wants this to happen now and I want the behaviors to change now but I always tell parents there's an arc of learning. You have to relearn and it doesn't happen overnight. You can't just tell somebody to be something and they are. And that arc can be

Rachel Greenberg (: 50:14

Thank you. ⁓

Mark (: 50:37

whatever that person's timetable is, can kind of try to set goals, right, and stages to achieve as you go along and hope maybe to, you know, expedite that process, but it's different for everybody. so do you find that the parents get as much benefit from your work as your clients do?

Rachel Greenberg (: 50:41

Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

I think so, if anything, probably more because parents are devastated when they see their child being lonely or taken advantage of or bullied. So I think that they definitely, just by seeing the improvement, feel so much better because they're seeing their child in a better place.

Mark (: 51:12

Yeah, it's got to be so heartwarming because it's got to be really challenging and difficult for parents to see their child not accepted into the world. What a wonderful thing you bring to the table and the gift that you give all of them, you know, the entire family unit. It's pretty amazing. And your passion is so apparent. ⁓

Rachel Greenberg (: 51:28

Thank you so much.

I appreciate

Mark (: 51:32

And,

Rachel Greenberg (: 51:32

it.

Mark (: 51:32

you know, and a lot of times people like yourself, you know, it takes time to succeed because we're so willing to give more than we want to get, you know. And so, but I wish that more of us, more of the population was like that, you know, wish the world kind of operated from that perspective. So I'm grateful for someone like you and specifically you, but I'm also grateful people like yourself. Is there anything that we didn't cover that you'd like to kind of like?

Rachel Greenberg (: 51:42

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Mark (: 51:59

talk about or any final message or anything like that.

Rachel Greenberg (: 52:01

I would love to give the word out of how you guys can contact me.

Mark (: 52:06

Absolutely, that I was going to ask. I just want to make sure there was no other final message that you wanted, but for sure, definitely give out your contact information,

Rachel Greenberg (: 52:12

So when you do your, when you publish this, will it be on the page?

Mark (: 52:18

Yeah, I'll put it in the show notes. I'll put your contact in the show notes and I'll see.

Rachel Greenberg (: 52:21

Great, so

you can contact me by putting in an inquiry at my website at www.lifeunlimitedllc.com. You can also email me at Rachel, R-A-C-H-E-L-G-R-E-E-N-B-E-R-G-728 at gmail.com or call or text me at

-: 6293

Mark (: 52:45

Okay. And that information is also on the website. Okay. So I'll put all that in the show notes. And some people, and I hope that people will. So do you have a, last question, actually, your reach, you're in Maryland, but do you have a broad reach around the country? Okay. Okay. That's great.

Rachel Greenberg (: 52:47

It is.

Wonderful.

Yep, I do. work with people all over the country. So no

one is limited even with time zones.

Mark (: 53:09

Okay, it's wonderful. Well, it's been such a pleasure chatting with you. It's a pleasure to know you and to know that you're out there doing the work that you're doing. Thank you for that and I wish you all the best success and I hope that your business grows. It's my pleasure. my pleasure. Definitely we'll catch up again in the future and kind of update and see where you're at and see how you're growing, okay? Okay. All right, Rachel, have a wonderful day.

Rachel Greenberg (: 53:22

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

That sounds fantastic. Thank you.

You too.

Mark (: 53:37

Thanks.